Monday, December 19, 2005

Ho Hum Bug!

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back

and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

ANGEL (Sarah McLaughlin)

Here comes another week! Bring on the Christmas craziness! I've got two gifts left. Yesterday I went shopping with Christina. It felt a bit like being in a zoo, people brushing up against each other, banging, pushing, running, lining up, yelling.....ahhh the holiday spirit!

I''m not going back to HMV at Sherway Gardens mall again. Ever. There's this big, burly, bouncer-like security gaurd who stands at the front keeping watch. I've seen him before. He's scary. The alarm went off as soon as I went in the store. No surprise there. I'm full of metal because of my wheelchair. The bouncer dude asked if I had any merchandise from the store with me. I said no, but then Christina took a CD out of my backpack that I'd brought with me to exchange. Big Burly Bouncer saw and wasted no time interrogating me. "Excuse me, Ma'm. You said you didn't have anything like that with you." I'm a Miss, not a M'am. Get it right buddy. I tried to explain that I forgot. I didn't want to say that I was so scared of him that I lost my brain. Thank goodness for scanners. Big Burly Bouncer scanned it and knew it had been paid for. I was so embarrassed. I guess he was just doing his job. I don't think I have the face of a criminal, but maybe it's those kind of people to watch out for.

You're probably wondering what's up with depressing song lyrics. Angel is a pass-me-the Prozac song, but I think it's also pretty. I heard somewhere that it was written about drug addiction. Listening to the song and thinking about it in that context really gets the water works started for me. It also brings me back to being a confused and conflicted teenager. It makes me think of high school, writing, shopping, camp, my first boyfriend, swimming, daquaries, and just being young. Nothing made sense. It's bittersweet. Now I'm supposed to be mature and have the imporant things sorted. We all strive for this, but I don't know if we ever fully get there. It's the journey, not the destination that counts, right?



1 comment:


great blog with great thought. I Need to see him so I can kick his ass. lol :)