Thursday, March 09, 2006
Coffee and heartbreak...
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be.
Goodbye My Lover (JAMES BLUNT)
This morning I awoke to my Dad holding a steaming cup of coffee in front of my nose to intice me to get out of bed. It worked.
I saw James Blunt on Oprah. What a sweet guy! His face is just so innocent and sad. It's obvious that he puts his whole heart into his music. His songs are so sad. He had to have some pretty dark days to come out with some of those lyrics. A song of his called Wisemen is getting a lot of air play. It's good, but I like Goodbye My Lover best.
A break-up hurts any way you slice it. I guess that's why most are ugly. I've never been a part of any friendly uncoupling. I wish I could thank the person for our time together, tell them it was special, that I will always care about them, and that I'll never forget them. No accusations, no insults, no games and no guilt. However, we don't always get what we wish for. I'm ashamed of a lot of my post-break-up behaviour. Most of the things I said and did were rude, impulsive, hurtful and immature. Looking back, I know I did those things to cope (or sometimes worsen) my own pain. I was also angry, but behind the bitterness was a shattered heart.
I've dated nice guys and ones who looked nicer on the outside then they were on the inside. I've made mistakes, had regrets and learned what I want in a guy, as well as what I don't want. After years of playing the game of love, I decided to start looking for someone like my Dad who thinks to bring me coffee in the morning before I've even opened my eyes. My standards went up, but that's when I found what I had been looking for all along.