Wednesday, August 30, 2006

No thanks...

There's an art to just saying no. I haven't mastered it. Well, not totally. Case in point: this morning's visit with my former attendent (but more important, my sweet friend, Trudy). Now, Trudy came by unexpectedly and her time is always tight, so I was very happy to see her. Normally I get annoyed when people drop over without calling first, but I shrugged it off. At least I get visitors, right?

After a happy greeting, it didn't take long for our conversation to turn to Trudy's favourite topic: God and Christianity. She's a true believer in the benefit of going to church, praying daily, reading the Bible and being a straight shooter. Don't get me wrong: I have faith myself and try to be a soild citizen, but I don't read the Bible much and, at this point in my life, don't see the need to spend Sundays at church.

Trudy has been encouraging me to go to Church for years and discretly left a Bible on my kitchen table. I wasn't bothered, but wasn't interested. Trudy went on for a while this morning about the importance of going to worship and even prayed, which was fine, but things turned a different corner when she mentioned that if I went to her Chruch, people may pray that I be healed from my disability. I can't walk, but I'm OK with that thanks. I think I'll see a movie with this Observer this Sunday instead of being healed. It's simplier....and sweeter.

- OCG

Friday, August 25, 2006

Purple Monkey Dishwasher...

A few weeks ago, the Observer and I were going down Younge Street (the city's largest street) and I saw a paper plate with the words, Purple Monkey Dishwasher! That's right!" written in green marker. My heart began beating a little faster. I remembered getting an e-mail a few years ago from my boyfriend at the time with the subject line: Purple Monkey Dishwasher. Lines like these weren't unusual for him, (or me for that matter) to use in conversation or writting. We both loved humour and funny nonesense. Not surprisingly, my ex boyfriend LOVED The Simpsons, so finding out the term's origins came as no surprise

Upon conducting a search to define the term Purple Monkey Dishwasher, I discovered the following meanings:

(1) Originating from an episode of The Simpsons (episode 2F19 "The PTA Disbands")

It has taken on a comical nonsensical interjectional use, appropriate as comic relief or as a tension breaker.

Person A: "Jeezus!! Who the hell ate the last Joe Louis?"

Person B: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher?"

(2) Despite claims this phrase originated on The Simpsons, it actually existed long before it was used in the show. The phrase is intended to portray the distortion of facts when passed from person to person. Its use in The Simpsons was accurate; Bart starts a rumour by whispering to one person who whispers it to another, etc. By the time the rumour reaches the front of the crowd, the phrase Purple Monkey Dishwasher has been added to the end due to people mishearing the original rumour as it passed from person to person. Due to the popularity of The Simpsons, the phrase has since become a commonly used response to opinions stated based on hearsay and unconfirmed rumours.

Person A: "I heard from a friend of a friend that John cheated on Linda with Karen!"

Person B: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher."

(3) A quick inconspicuous phrase to alert your friends of the presence of a suspicious looking/acting character, in other words - "Let’s get out of here."

Out shopping with friends, you notice a stranger eyeing off your handbags but your friends are too distracted to notice.

Friend: "Do you think this dress will look good with my red heels?"

You: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher!"

(4) Derived from The Simpsons, a term that should now be applied to the end of every game of Chinese whispers/ broken telephone.

Person 1: "The Sky is blue"

Person 17: "The man eats poo. Purple Monkey Dishwasher.”

(5) The answer to any "why" question you do not know.

Person A: "Why didn’t you eat your veggie?"

Person B: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher.”

(6) A dishwasher made by the world famous Purple Monkey brand that comes with a one year guarantee.

Person A: "That dishwasher is l33T."

Person B: "I know, it's Purple Monkey."

Sadly, my ex boyfriend passed away a few months ago. Though we stopped dating two years ago, his death hit me hard. You see, I only date amazing people. It felt as though the whole world lost a great person.

Some people believe in getting signs from those who have left us. I've always been doubtful of that happening, particulary in this instance because my relationship with my ex boyfriend didn't end on the best of terms. I'm sure he could think of people in his life more deserving of a sign from heaven. Maybe my former boyfriend meant for me to see those words on that plate, remember him, and smile, because that's exactly what I did.

- OCG

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My mystery night-time critter...


Do you ever think you're hearing things lying in bed at night? Like the scratch of little critter feet? Do you shiver with fear or get the creeps? Are you ever embarrassed to admit this? Do you wonder if you're going crazy?

If you answered yes to some or all of my questions, you know how I felt last night. And the night before. And the night before that too. I've been doing a lot of critter listening and not so much sleeping. A big reason is due to the gapping whole in the corner of my bathroom. That's due to my oh-so-bumpy quest to learn to drive my new, top-of-the-line wheelchair. So the hole is my fault because I'm a bad driver. It's ugly and screams, "Look at me!" or the more obvious, "Look at how horrible you are at driving your wheelchair!" On top of being noticeable, the hole is perfect for something to crawl through. Something furry. Something with four legs and a tail. Something scary. Something like a mouse.

The first night I heard movement I thought the worst; a psycho murderer had found me and this was the end. The second night my fears weren't so dark. I knew it was a critter who was making use of my spacious pad. Unfortunately knowing there was an uninvited guest didn't make it easy for me to get sleep. The scratching and mysterious noise didn't either. Last night I slept with the kitchen light on. I don't think this helped me relax. All night long I tried to avert my gaze from the kitchen to avoid seeing anything gray or black, furry and with a tail. In trying so hard to not see one or more critters, I successfully managed to not sleep too.

I'm a girl who needs her sleep. When I don't get it, watch out. Desperate for hole repair help and reassurance that I didn't have a furry room mate, I called the only person I knew would come to my aid no question. My Dad. He did not disappoint. He patched up the whole with his fatherly touch, rigged up a mouse trap, and of course it was great to see him. He admitted being doubtful that a mouse was making night rounds. He knew I could be a bit nuts, but loved me anyway.


Hopefully now I can get some quality slumber time. It's funny. Dad's been the person I've always come to with my troubles, including fights and conflicts with other people. He never ceases to help me work out a solution by listening or offering advice, often thinking of the other person's view. Dad's good at resolving problems between people. It seems he's not bad at keeping a mouse (or other critter) away from my house either.

- OCG

Monday, August 21, 2006

Waiting On The World To Change...

me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting

waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want

that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change

one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change

WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE (John Mayer)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

One glass goes a long way...



Lately I've been having a glass of red wine every Friday. The Observer has a beer. I really look forward to it. Rarely do I feel so relaxed and loosened up. It really does the trick. I bought a cheap bottle of Merlot thinking it would not be as strong, but I was wrong. One glass and all my worries go to the wind. Everything is funnier, free, and I'm less rigid. It's becoming a Friday night ritual, but I'm not worried. They say one glass is good for the heart, and I can't help it if I'm a cheap drunk, can I?

Here's to the happy one-glass-and-I'm-gonners!


- OCG

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Looking forward and back...

There are things I know that I wish I didn't.
Things I said that I wish I could take back.
Times I remember that I want to forget.
Places I went when I should have stayed put.
Feelings I wanted to express but stayed quiet instead.
Thanks I wanted to give, but didn't know how to start.
Memories I have that I'm afraid will fade away.
Secrets I've kept that are better off said.
Mistakes I've made that caused too much regret.
Sweet moments in time that I brushed off as luck.
Actions I've taken when I should have thought twice.
Experiences I rushed when I needed to slow down.

I smile when I look back.
Life doesn't always make sense as it happens.
It can be so confusing and difficult all at once.
I used to think there were answers for everything.
I'm beginning to see that sometimes it's better not to answer every question.
It's safer to accept and let go.
That's what I'm trying to do starting now.
I'm starting to realize that sometimes, in order to understand where we are, we need to sort out where we've come from.

- OCG

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

A tip toe closer to domesticity....


Yesterday I was on a mission - a misson to buy a mop. This is not something I do on a regular basis. My Mom usually helps since she's more familar with household supplies, especially when it comes to cleaning.

I work with many different people because I need help to do the important tasks of daily living, which includes cleaning. My Mom bought me a sponge mop last year. It did the job for a while, but the head wore down. My cleaning crew instructed me to get a squeeze mop.

Apparently the dollar store sells sticks for $1, and mop heads for $1 too. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Even so, I am skeptical when it comes to dollar store deals. It seems to me that we get what we pay for. I would rather pay a bit of extra dough and buy something that will last for a while. There's this massive dollar store close to my apartment building, but I've never been to find the accessible entrance. (This is rather embarrassing to admit, considering that I've lived in the same area for a year!) Sometimes finding the only way in or out can be quite a treck.

I went the drugstore and purchased a Velleta mop for a reasonable price. It seems to do the job, and now I'm one step closer to being domesticated........well, maybe just a very small tiptoe.

- OCG

Sunday, August 06, 2006

People watching...


I love going to the Train station. I spent yesterday there with a friend. There's so many people coming and going. I feel their excitement just watching them. Why go on a trip when you can watch others about to leave? It's a cheap thrill (literally), but I always enjoy it. I was quite entertained watching people go up and down the stairs to get on and off the subway. Seeing people meet up with their family and friends gave me a strange rush. I was stuffing my face with unhealthy grub all day. It must have been all the energy I was using to be nosey.

Living in the city, I see a lot of homeless people who rifle through garbage cans. It makes me sad, because I know they must have big problems. Sometimes it's obvious just by looking at some people that hunger is not their only issue, but it must be a pressing one for sure. Yesterday I saw a relatively well-dressed gentleman sorting through a garbage can. At first I assumed he was taking out all of the trash that should go in the recycling bin. I realized I was wrong when he took out a half empty cup of iced coffee and finished it. Now, we all know I'm a coffee lover, but that's going a bit far. I would never have thought that gentleman would need to sort through trash, but I guess I should have realized that we all come from different places. I was, after all, at the train station.

- OCG

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Sleepless in my bed...


Don't you hate not being able to sleep? Lying there thinking about all the time you're wasting and the reality that the next day will soon be here is the worst feeling. I learned in school that lost sleep can never be gained back. This means that once you have a zzzless night, the damage is done, and your brain cannot benefit from anything but sleep in the present. If I were more physically able, I would probably have gotten out of bed and done work on the computer, which might not have seemed like such a smart choice once I couldn't keep my eyes open today. On some strange level, perhaps my disability works to my advantage at times.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense or if this topic is at all interesting, but I've been thinking about it after a few bad nights of hitting the hay without any shut eye. My brain was racing at lighting speed last night because I was in this gotta-finish-everything-I've-procrastinated-doing mode. Once I went to bed, I couldn't stop thinking about things I had left to do. I payed bills via telephone during the wee hours of the night and made a mental to-do list until my mind slowed down. I must have slept because I woke up promptly at 7 a.m, a full two hours ahead of when I needed to get up. Ah well, at least I got some rest.

I'm sitting here with the Observer. We had a delicious dinner with his family, including his Italian relatives. They're very nice. I may be tired, but I'm never too tired to enjoy hanging with the Observer.

- OCG