Sunday, October 29, 2006

Time's a tickin'...

I'm not sure what to say. I'm alone. It's quiet. I came back to my apartment just to chill. I like to hang by myself sometimes, but not always.

It's just after 7 p.m. It's dark already. That means winter is coming...argh! I hate the cold, but the snow on the trees can be pretty, just not all the time.

I was supposed to do work today but I didn't quite get to it. Why do I procrastinate? Work doesn't go away by avoiding it. It's amazing how I can find so many ways to put off what I should be doing.

Ok, I'm going to go do just a few minutes.


Friday, October 27, 2006

I just want to say...

Maybe I would have chosen a different life,
one where I am not disabled
and not as short
Or sensitive.

I'd know what I'd want to do
And where I am going.
I would be less of a push-over
and more of an advocate.

I'd dance like a lady
And play the guitar.
I'd go on roller-coasters
and run miles everyday.

I wouldn't worry so much about getting fat
and just enjoy chocolate cake.
I'd toss and turn freely in the middle of the night
Maybe I'd worry less and fall asleep faster.

I'd babysit.
And work in a coffee shop.
I'd cook fresh meals and make my own juice.
I'd be more spontaneous and less routine.

I just want to say...
that though I may have chosen differently
I am grateful for the love that is in my life
And for the little things.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Another sweet bean...

Now there are TWO types of beans I can't get enough of! I love all the funky flavours of Jelly Belly Beans, especially blueberry.

Each jelly bean is four calories each. (Who's counting, right?) If you haven't already guessed, I have a BIG sweet tooth. These beans make my belly happy! I just hope they won't make it bigger...ah well, we all deserve a sweet treat now and then, don't we?

When I was younger, people always said I was "full of beans". Now I always have a certain beverage made from a bean in my system. Maybe people sensed I'd be a big bean fan even when I was small...Some of us are just born with beans in our blood I guess.


Monday, October 23, 2006

What's Salad Cream?

Salad Cream is the UK's version of mayonnaise. It is a creamy, yellow condiment used commonly as salad dressing.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Matters of my mind...

I feel fat. I feel ugh. I feel frumpy. I feel this way a lot. I think lots of girls do, lots of girls who aren't even fat. It makes me sad.

I am sitting here typing listening to Alan Thick from Growing Pains on E.T. Canada. Growing Pains was a great show. It's very nostalgic for me.

Tomorrow the Observer is spinning tunes at a teen dance. He'll do a wicked job. I know it. I was going to go to support him, but it's not really my scene. The crowd is pretty young. I can bet that I would end up sitting alone, and the Observer can't really talk to me. Instead I will meet him for lunch tomorrow and get some quick lovin'.

I'm going home for the weekend. It will be nice to see my family. I think I will watch The Break-up with Mom on DVD while sending the Observer lots of good-luck vibes from afar. I hope he feels their impact. We may go watch Man Of The Year. Robin Williams always makes me laugh.

It's almost time for bed. In the morning I will have a big cup of coffee, and that will make me happy. When I wake up, I will NOT feel fat. Life is too short to waste too many days on trival matters. Instead I will worry about my hair. (Just joking!)


Monday, October 16, 2006

The Paradox of our Time...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years .We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete.

By: Dr. Bob Moorehead

Friday, October 06, 2006


Have you ever eaten soy nuts? Maybe. Maybe not. Lots of people have never heard of soy nuts. They are mostly found in health food stores. A couple of years ago, I tried to healthy to an unhealthy degree. I ate only a little of very healthy food, no junk, no bad fat, no processed sugar, no bread. Doesn't leave much to eat, huh?

As you can imagine, I was a very hungry girl a lot of the time. I talked about food, read about food, dreamed about food and did everything with food except eat enough of it.

One of my attempts to eat ultra healthy involved soy nuts. They took a while to track down, but my Mom eventually found them. When she gave me the nut container, the calorie content on the back was scratched out with a magic marker. I guess she wanted me to eat them instead of count how many calories were in each nut.

I ate them a few times and thought they were OK - salty and crunchy. However, soy nuts lost their appeal when I discovered they were fried. So much for good fat. They got shafted to the back of my fridge for curious visitors to try. It seemed they got an OK rating. I realized not a lot of people cared as much as I did about the saturated fat content. Actually it seemed no one cared as much as I did about fat content. Period.

It took me a long time to realize that eating healthy doesn't mean eating almost nothing, that not all food will make me fat, and most important, I am OK. I struggled for a long time. I still do, but again, I am OK.

I finished the soy nuts last night. They've been in my fridge for two years. You might think it's nasty that I ate them after so long. I was going to throw them out until I noticed that they looked, smelled and tasted fine. I guess nuts don't age as fast as people do.

I know I ate some saturated fat, but I didn't freak out. I'm in a better place in my life now. Maybe I needed to go a little nuts to get here.