Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A day of zero until tomorrow...

Have you ever been on a plane? Stung by a bee? Eaten squid? Written something that's been published? Taken the train? Had a near death experience?

I did very little today and none of the things I just listed of course. You know those days where you have really good intentions, but by afternoon, you know they sounded better than actual reality?

I couldn't sleep well last night. I was boiling in my bed. I have serious sweating issues. My whole family does. I LOVE to sleep with covers up to my chin, all snugly. It's very comforting. As I started to feel toasty and glisten in body juice (sweat), I told myself I'd cool down eventually. I was very wrong. I didn't cool down. I got even hotter. I was fantasizing about jumping into big, freezing pool of ice cubes. Brrr! My temperature regulated eventually, but I still couldn't catch any shut eye. It must be a Tuesday thing. Last Tuesday I stayed up all night. At least this time I was making an effort to sleep.

I estimate that I drifted off around 3 a.m. My eyes opened at 7 a.m. I dreamt that the Observer and I were having some type of crisis. I vaguely recall that he was "sick and tired of me being so bossy and critical" and said adios. It was weird and unsettling. I was going to call him early just to say hello, but decided not to.

Maybe I subconsciously dreamed about the Observer leaving because yesterday I was a little bossy. I have no trouble telling him what I think. I guess that's healthy, but he probably wishes I kept my thoughts to myself more. One of my goals is to let the Observer be. He is very smart and can function without my opinions all the time. Besides, the Observer already has the wisdom and guidance of his Mom; he doesn't need another one.

We are supposed to be getting a downpour of showers tonight. It might be rainy tomorrow, but I plan to go out and for some fancy coffee. One day of being unproductive is OK, but not two, especially when I could try some new and adventurous activities like taking the train or eating squid.


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