Thursday, May 03, 2007

Heaven must be a wonderful place now that you are there, because I know the world is a lot less beautiful. If tears could build a stairway, and memories were a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again. No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness, and secret tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, no one will ever know.

You'll get over it. It's the clich├ęs that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The articulation of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made any different by death. This hole in my heart is the shape of you and no one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?

When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming - and their scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in their closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of them that are gone. Just when the day comes, when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feelings that they're gone forever, there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

I think about how much I miss him and start to feel sorry for myself, but then I think about everyone who didn't know him, and I start to feel sorry for them.

- Unknown

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