Thursday, July 31, 2008
For the last three days, I have bought a Starbucks coffee. Being such a coffee lover, this doesn't seem all that shocking, right? Well, a cup of coffee is not something I try to make a daily purchase. I normally make my coffee since it saves money and ensures it's the way I like it. Lately though, I have been caving in and going for a house coffee with soy milk and two Splendas. I feel like a high maintenance coffee drinker just typing that. All three coffees have been a treat, even though I feel frivolous. I will probably have Starbucks tomorrow and then try to break my streak. Maybe I'll replace my coffee purchase with buying a different vegetable every day. It would be healthy and more practical. They do say that a moderate amount of coffee every day cuts one's risk of cancer by about thirteen percent. I doubt this statistic applies only to Starbucks coffee, but one can always wonder.....
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My afternoon turned out to be quite an adventure. I discovered just how big the city I live in really is. The sky looked suspiciously gray and I could feel my stomach start to get upset. Rumbles came from the sky and inside of me but both held out.
I believe we gain a lot from losing our way in the physical and spiritual sense. We learn things we may have missed if we kept along the familiar path. There is also a great feeling of comfort and confidence that comes with finding our way home.
Wherever you are, I hope you feel at home.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I think I need more versatile shoes - a pair that I can wear during all seasons. Maybe I had to buy this pair of summery shoes so that now I know exactly what I am looking for, which makes buying them this afternoon worthwhile even if I return them. They say sometimes it's easier to know what we don't want as opposed to what we do want. Basic principles of life can apply anywhere, anytime. There is something to be gained from everything, even when it comes to choosing shoes. In my case, I have such a hard time making up my mind. Shoes are shoes - it's where we take them that counts.
Monday, July 28, 2008
My brother is one of the kindest, most down-to-earth dudes in my life. Talking to him for a minute can remind me of what is important in the big scheme of things. He's one of my favourite people.
I always start my day with a big cup of coffee. I don't always start my day visiting with my brother and having coffee, so that made my morning extra special.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I watched some of Big Brother 10, the Observer's favourite show. Never having seen it before, it was hard for me to gage the competition, but I did notice a few blond girls. They are probably part of why the Observer enjoys the show so much. After Big Brother 10, we watched Celebrity Rehab, another show I had never seen. It was interesting - reality TV for the troubled rich and famous. I don't normally watch those types of TV shows at that time, but sometimes it's not what you watch on TV that counts, but who you watch TV with.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
I left for home in less than chirpier spirits, which makes me sad. Now I feel much better, so I wish I could rewind the end of our visit and change my mood from gloomy to sunny. It's a beautiful night outside so I guess all I can do is enjoy it. The world is so much brighter when we are feeling healthy. Sometimes it takes time and effort to reach this stage, but I can't think of anything more worthwhile than achieving wellness. Doing so makes everything around us meaningful, especially the sensation of having a puppy lick one's ear.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Yesterday the Observer and I had fun afternoon. We went to a coffee shop and talked. I love those kind of dates. He was trying to resist buying dessert. I admired his strength, but could tell he really wanted a sweet treat. With my urging, he finally bought himself an apple sundae, which looked yummy. I believe in splurging, even though I probably do so more than I should. Depriving oneself only causes a stronger craving, so I say it's best to give into the occasional treat to avoid an even bigger splurge down the road.
I had a yummy, frothy cappuccino courtesy of the sweet Observer. I loved it! I'm not a big fan of fancy coffees but do enjoy the odd cappuccino. After finishing my coffee and slurping up every last bit of foamy goodness, I still felt the need for a regular coffee, so I got one. Cappuccinos have one shot of espresso and taste quite sweet. Being a big fan of strong coffee, the fancy java leaves me craving the plainer, bolder tastes. Don't get me wrong; both kinds of coffee are delicious, but they are even more delicious when drank consecutively. Of course, the double dose created quite the buzz. I felt a bit jumpy and it took me a bit to fall asleep, but I didn't mind at all. We only live once, so over-caffeinating occasionally is worth a mild case of the jitters.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I met an old friend for dinner tonight. It was fun and good to catch up. I was able to wheel to the restaurant, which is always so convenient. Life doesn't always work that way, but when it does, I am always grateful. Living downtown can be loud and slightly unsafe, but the benefits certainly out number the not-so-great parts.
Gossiping is something I try to avoid. I'm very curious and ask lots of questions. I guess I can be a busy body. I don't look for information to use against people, which would be gossiping. Whenever I get together with a female friend, we end up talking about mutual friends/acquaintances. We update each other on what we know and predict about their lives. Is that gossipping? We refrain from being mean but we can be judgemental. There's where the line between passing information and digging dirt gets crossed. On the flip side, if we just talked about ourselves, wouldn't that be very self-indulgent and pretty boring? Maybe talking about others is OK, but ripping them apart is wrong.
I see lots of men walking down the street this evening carrying bags that resemble purses. In my area, men carrying purses wouldn't that strange. A man wearing a skirt would be quite common too. I don't mean to gossip...........
There have been times when people have insisted on helping me and won't take no for an answer - like today. This funky looking man who needed a good shower came over to my table and said my coffee was too hot and the lid needed to come off. Hoping to shift his attention, I asked him to move the chair. Nice try. Before I could stop him, the lid on my coffee was off. Lidless coffees make me nervous. They are a big spilling risk. Strange men touching my coffee make me more nervous. How do I know where his hands have been?
I came home and looked at myself in the mirror. After sticking my tongue out, I realized it was green. What if I contracted some strange disease? Not likely, I know. At least the guy's intentions were good, even though he wasn't the best listener.
Monday, July 21, 2008
I went to visit my parents for the later part of the day. Seeing their new puppy made me so happy. Her name is still not decided. Phoebe and Sophie are top contenders. Phoebe would be my choice, but she's not my dog. I'm so in love with her. She was bounding down the hall, which looks funny since she is so small. When I held her, she was so squirmy. She wants to chew everything. I think the puppy is going through oral fixation, just like babies do. I miss her. What if the puppy grows too fast and I'm not around to see her while she's little? I need to go home again soon.
I was grumpy to my family, which I regretted the second I left. They knew I was tired, but still. When the world is full of families, people like the Observer, coffee, lunch times with friends, puppies, good books, family meals, sunshine and love, what's a bit of tiredness?
Sunday, July 20, 2008
This is just one day. Whatever happens, I'll be alright. The rain will stop, the sun will be come out and I'll get a good sleep. There's always tomorrow, even if today kind of sucks.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I kept my air conditioning off all day. It wasn't too hot outside. It's just past 11:30 p.m. and I started feeling hot. I switched it onto medium. The air is cooling off in my apartment. I brought some cherries today and ate the whole bag. I always do that. My grandma calls foods like cherries "go-for foods" - you eat one and go for another (in my case, another forty!) Afterwards I felt a bit funky.
I guess that can happen from overdosing on anything. I had a session with my
physiotherapist today. Next to my Dad, my brothers, and the Observer, my physiotherapist is one of the kindest guys I know. He's just an all around good dude. For the past five years he's ended every session by asking me what I have planned for the weekend ahead. Upon answering, I usually ask him the same question. Not today. Later tonight I remembered not asking him his plans. How rude and self absorbed of me not to inquire when he did so for me. Maybe the heat or too many cherries froze my brain.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wherever I go, I carry a book with me. Since I have been reading this trilogy, strangers have stopped me in a coffee shop, a restaurant and on the street because they read the same novels and they wanted my opinion so far. It felt kind of pleasant to have strangers ask me what I think of something, even if the books aren't the most intellectual to discuss. I think I mentioned that I am borrowing the trilogy from my Mom. If she and those strangers I bumped into read and enjoyed the novels, they can't be that bad. Maybe a good book or trilogy doesn't always have to widen our brains. Maybe good books also exist to read during those lazy, hazy days of summer. Maybe some novels only exist to transport us to more dramatic, exotic places. Ocaisionally, as I am learning, strangers who might never otherwise meet stop and talk about a book they have in common. I'm all for anything that connects people on a friendly level including drama, betrayal, sex, scandal and manipulation - just as long as I'm only reading about it, not living it.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I noticed about six police cars near the subway close to my apartment. Something was happening. Sometimes I am really curious and want to know details. That's human nature, I guess. There are other times when I'm glad the activities around here aren't so obvious. Maybe I'm naive, and live in a fog, but life has enough excitement between the time we wake up and go to sleep each day. They say what we don't know can't hurt us. There's some truth in that, but who can ignore the obvious without making a conscious choice to do so? I am getting sleepier as the minutes tick by. No matter how hard I try, I can't ignore my body, so goodnight.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
When people are wearing winter coats now (in the middle of summer) I have to ask myself if they are nuts. It's just not normal to put on a coat when most people would freeze in long sleeves. There's a lady who I see on the streets who wears a surgical mask and swears constantly. That's abnormal, right?
One summer at camp, I witnessed a camper choke. He later passed away in hospital. For two months after camp, I was convinced I had something stuck in my throat and that I was going to die. Sounds a little whacked, doesn't it?
My best friend uses code names for people we know out in public because she is afraid they will be lurking nearby and overhear us. You think she might be a bit paranoid?
It's not too hard to be crazy, but going crazy is different, I think. Going crazy is gradually losing touch with reality. It's a process, whereas being crazy is short term and triggered by something in particular; at least I think so.
Everyone has little things that set them off, or they are particular about. We can all be driven a bit nuts sometimes.
Losing touch with reality is where the line between off and crazy is drawn, I believe. If I believe I'm the Queen, I'd say I'm in trouble, wouldn't you?
The fact that we all come from different places, feel differently, respond differently, love and cry differently makes us unique. Our little, hidden secret habits are what makes us who we are. Some may be strange, but maybe this is the closest some of us will ever get to becoming crazy. Maybe that's normal.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Living here reminds me to go with the flow.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The documentary got me thinking about sex and taboos. Once society makes a topic off limits, does that make it more tempting? When something is forbidden, do we not crave it? After a revolution, is it possible to go back to the ways of the past? Is there a fundamental reason for tradition? Do we have a choice in adopting change?
These issues make me think of the lyrics If you're not part of the future, then get out of the way....from the song Peaceful World by John Mellencamp and India Arie. I like the idea of being part of the future, but before I have any major role, I would like to sleep tonight.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
I'm listening to a pretty song called Heartbeats by Jose Gonzalez. It's sweet and mellow - just my style. There's a coffee house station on Yahoo Radio that I enjoy. The Observer recommended it.
We met for dinner tonight, and just as we were paying, the fire alarm went off and the whole restaurant evacuated. I had frozen yogurt, which was about $3.00. I didn't pay for it, which feels strange.
Maybe I'll leave a little cash for a charity. Good luck is a blessing and sometimes it's important to pay it forward.
Thanks for reading about my day. I hope the sun comes out tomorrow.
Monday, July 07, 2008
The Observer and I saw the animated movie Wall-E. It was entertaining and cute, but had a deeper message of what is ahead if we continue to over-use our natural resources and become over-indulgent in general. The Observer was the first to pick up on the cautionary message. He impressed me.
I've been doing a lot of light reading. Books that are entertaining and easy. My Mom has been sharing her books. I'm kind of enjoying the change of pace. Being summer, I guess it all fits together. Reading books that are a little unrealistic and over dramatic is therapeutic for me. It takes me away from stress and the seriousness of real life, which is good once in a while.
My grandma gave me a flowering tea pot and flowering tea for Christmas. It's been sitting in my cupboard and I just decided to try it tonight. I didn't use the teapot, and the tea leaves opened up beautifully in a big mug. The flower looks so pretty and the tea smells flowery too. My Grandma finds the coolest gifts.
I'm going to drink my tea before it cools...
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Phase #1: "I'm so in love with you. You're amazing."
Phase #2: "I still love you, but you have some annoying behaviours/traits that sometimes drive me nuts."
Phase #3: "We've been through life's hurdles and survived intact. I love you, even though we might occasionally drive each other nuts."
Phase #4: "You're my best friend and, even though life hasn't always been easy, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
People may think it was selfish to keep a dog who couldn't walk. Lately, perhaps Maddie stuck around more for us than herself, which I am grateful for, but for the majority of the last five years, Maddie lived a happy life.
I am grateful for the joy Maddie brought into our lives just by being herself. I am grateful that looking at Maddie always warmed my heart and reminded me that God creates beautiful living creatures. I am grateful for how she drew people to her and to my family. I am grateful for the sense of purpose caring for Maddie has given my family. I am grateful for the way Maddie became attached to each of my siblings when we needed her most. I am grateful that Maddie was stubborn and defiant, because we understood each other. I am grateful that Maddie stayed next to my Mom as she recovered from her heart attack. I am grateful for Maddie's ability to adapt to change.
I am so sad for Mom and Dad who face their first day without Maddie. It has to feel strange for her not to be next to one of them, as she always would be. I wish I was home, but I'm glad I'm not...............
Maddie was special and our family will be forever changed by her time with us. Thank you Madders for all you gave us. I love you.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
The Observer and I went out for dinner to a very pretty part of the city. I'm so full. Somehow the lens of the Observer's glasses popped off as he was eating ice cream. It was bizarre and funny. I hope he gets his glasses fixed soon. On the way home, I bumped into an acquaintance who also uses a wheelchair. I have known her for a while and she knows me well too. We said hello and I wasn't sure if she wanted to stop and chat or keep moving. I usually introduce people I'm with to people I meet by chance, but I didn't today, because my acquaintance was moving and talking at the same time. I hope I didn't snub her off or seem rude. What's worse having someone snub you off or be caught talking when you just want to move?
If I run into this lady soon, maybe I''ll tell her that I couldn't really see her because my glasses were blurry. It's sort of true.