Sunday, August 03, 2008

Bittersweet cravings...

I want something sweet to eat. I often get these cravings out of nowhere. It's not good. I've eaten quite a lot today and it's only 2:30. I want coffee, but I'm going out later, so I'm trying to hold off. We'll see how long that lasts. I've already had two cups this morning, which usually satisfies me for a while, but there is a lot going on today.

My Dad has a kidney stone and was in the hospital emergency last night and again this morning. I was home yesterday and he complained of not feeling well. As I was leaving, my Mom quietly told me she thought Dad had a kidney stone. She's usually right. Coming home and hearing they were in the hospital emergency was no surprise.

This morning Dad vomited multiple times so they returned to hospital. A CAT scan showed the stone has moved. Vomiting can be a side effect of the painkillers he was given at the hospital. It's good news, but still a bit stressful. When a parent is sick, it feels like the world is shaking, even when the problem is a simple kidney stone.

I got some more bad news this morning. My sister-in-law was just diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She is a twenty-seven-year-old nurse. I am so sad for her. It sucks. My brother and her just celebrated their first year of marriage. In this year alone, my sister-in-law lost her grandmother and her father was diagnosed with incurable cancer. Now that she has cancer herself, it feels like some sort of sick joke. She and my brother have known she has cancer for a month, but didn't disclose it before they knew for sure. My heart goes out to both of them. I keep thinking of seeing my brother last week and how he was himself and I had no idea he was dealing with such a load. Life is sure testing their marriage. I have a hunch that they will come out stronger once they have passed this hurdle. My sister-in-law is one hundred percent kind, honest, and genuine. If there is proof that bad things happen to good people; it's her.

I keep thinking of the morning my Mom had her heart attack. My sister-in-law answered all of our quick, scared questions as best as she could. She rubbed my back and washed my faced as I cried. Though I wanted Mom most that day, I had a kind soul close by which is what I needed most.

I wish I could tell my sister-in-law how sorry I am that she is sick. Tears would fall from my eyes, but she wouldn't mind.

I know I want coffee because that is what I always want when I don't know what to do or I just need something to fill me up. I am so sad that life is unfair to fair people like my sister-in-law. A cup of coffee won't change that, but I still want it.

If you're reading this, please keep my sister in law in your thoughts and prayers. Though you may not know her, she deserves all the positive energy possible.


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