Friday, August 15, 2008

Not a goodnight...

I'm not in the brightest of spirits today. Hopefully I can turn my outlook around and liven up. Sometimes changing my perspective in a day sounds easier than it actually is.

One of my attendants is trying to intimidate me. She is a master of bullying and manipulation. Three years ago, when I first moved into my apartment, this attendant was very pleasant and accommodating. I was pleasant too. As she got to know me, she began asking for favours like if she could borrow food or sleep on my couch. I wanted to say no, but felt totally backed into a corner. I knew my attendant was taking advantage of me. Her behaviour was an example of the "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" principle. When we use these tactics on the job, I don't think the results are good. Over the years, my attendant has become bolder and more manipulate. She was also lazy and showing up late for work. Finally I had enough and reported her to management. She wouldn't talk to me for four months. While I found interactions with her to be tense and awkward, I was glad to be getting better service. Recently, this attendant was evaluated by co-workers and consumers (me). Not surprising, the evaluation was not positive.

Last night this attendant asked if I'd be willing to have a meeting with her and the other consumers to talk about her evaluation. Is she kidding me? Why would anyone want to rehash a bad review? At first I told her that it would depend when the meeting was, but she knew I wasn't comfortable. I wear my feelings on my face. We continued to argue a little and I went to bed feeling totally intimidated which was exactly her goal.

I have phoned the manager who has told me to report any repercussions from this attendant's evaluation. I am so mad. The attendant is being such a bully. I don't know whether she is behaving this way towards other consumers, but it makes my blood boil. When the attendant was acting confrontational last evening, my voice was shaking. She apologized for upsetting me. I wasn't upset. I was angry and my voice shakes because I am afraid of losing my temper and blowing up. I didn't explain this to my attendant because I know she is not capable of understanding or caring. She is mean and conniving.

I will not let myself be bullied by a fifty-five-year-old woman who ought to know better than to borrow food or sleep on the couches of those she is paid to assist. I am very upset, stressed and annoyed today. On the bright side, I slept well and the sun is shinning. My day will not be spoiled. Life is too short to miss making the most of a sunny, August Friday. There are always going to be people who make me angry, but summer days are only here for so long.


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