Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The calm after the storm...

The sun is shinning today. The air isn't too cold. It's a pleasant February day. I feel like a whole new person. I was so stressed out for the past few weeks. . I felt like I was in the center of this storm and all I could do was sit in the middle and wait for the calm. Having so little control over life can be frustrating. There are so many people that come in and out of my life. Sometimes I want to tell them to be quiet or leave me alone, but I need help to function every day, so I have to be kind or hold my tongue. Sometimes that is all there is to do. After a few sleepless nights, I have been getting some top-notch rest and woken up refreshed.

The Observer's parents left for Italy yesterday. I know he is sad and worried about managing on his own. I am confident he will be fine. I wish he believed in myself. I believe in him, but he needs to. Italy isn't down the street. I think having his parents so far away makes the Observer nervous. I'd be nervous too, but there is lots of help around. All he has to do is ask. Being very close to his Mom, it's obvious that he misses her. I know she misses the Observer as well. I am happy that his parents are getting the chance to go to Italy and see family. I am even happier that the Observer is being self-sufficient. Though he is worried and wouldn't choose to stay at his apartment for two weeks straight, doing so will show him just how strong he is.

Yesterday we had a quick visit. My rides got shortened, but at least I had the chance to talk to the Observer and catch up. Today I miss him. Hopefully he is having a good day.

A loud, angry person of no fixed address caused a scene at the library. He was denied a library card and got VERY upset. His yelling made me nervous. Life is rough for all of us, but for some, their struggles are very evident. I haven't had an easy time lately, but I have a home, safety, love, my health, friends, self-respect, family and support. That's a lot when some people can't even be trusted with library privileges.


1 comment: