Monday, March 02, 2009

A mitten returned...

My nose is sugary cold. My ears are red and my arms and legs feel numb. I forgot what winter feels like.....until now. Hopefully this is the last of the cold, but you never know in Canada.

This morning I slept in until quite late. Sleeping was hard last night. My mind wouldn't rest. I got upset with the Observer and couldn't stop thinking about the way I acted. With his parents gone to Italy, his cousins and other family friends have been keeping him coming. It's been good for him as he hasn't had time to feel lonely. I'm proud of how well he's been holding up. The Observer has been so busy that he hasn't had time to see me. I have missed him and felt a bit shafted.

Throughout our relationship, we have always said that family needs to come first. In four years, we have each honoured this principle - changing plans if there is a chance of seeing family and holding connect with them in the highest regard. We both love our families a great deal, which is one of the reasons we get along so well. That said, I am sad that I haven't gotten to see the Observer very much. I miss him. I thought he'd need me more than he has. He is busy all this week and having dinner with his cousin on Friday. I am upset as we usually see each other on Fridays, but family first, I guess. Maybe I am being jealous and slightly unfair. I value space and independence, whereas the Observer loves being surrounded family. We are different and that's what keeps our lives exciting. At least the Observer hasn't been lonely. Hopefully he will remember what I look like.

Seeing my friend at Union Station was fun. We chatted over sandwiches and coffee. Spending time with her is like a breath of fresh air. I feel lighter and happier. I hope to see her again soon. I have missed her.

Coming into my apartment yesterday, I dropped a big, blue mitten. A guy riding his bike drove a far distance to retrieve my mitten and hand it back to me. That was so sweet. I hope he knew how much I appreciated his gesture. It was freezing outside, but when he handed me back my mitten, I forgot how cold I was for a second. Maybe that's what happens when kindness warms the heart.


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