Monday, March 09, 2009


Have you ever eaten a bowl of Cheerios because they remind you of being a kid? Tonight I did. After just getting home from my parents, I felt a little sad. A week will go by before I see them again. When I got home last night, I had dinner with my parents and twin brother. For a good three years of living at home and being in high school, it was only my parents and my brother and I at the dinner table as our older sister and brother were away at school. The four of us sitting at the table felt like a blast from the past. I enjoyed it. I've been really tired at night lately. All that coffee after dinner must be catching up with me. I keep telling myself that eventually our bodies get so tired, we HAVE to sleep. We fall into fairyland. I'm waiting for the crash.

Mom falls asleep around ten o'clock most nights. Her days start at 6 o 'clock and she goes full speed ahead until she crashes on the couch after dinner. Her routine is so predictable that it's comforting. As she dozed off last night, I suggested we both go to bed. She told me it was too early. I was exhausted and could have hit the hay right after dessert, but was too embarrassed to admit it. When I did go to bed, I got distracted by a show on TV about a transgendered person with a dysfunctional family. It was disturbing, but I couldn't stop watching.

I went to the doctor for some blood work. Needles don't bother me, but I startle so easily, that I jump when I feel the "poke". Lab technicians think I'm scared and often treat me like a little kid. It's annoying. I'm twenty six and can handle a poke people. Please....Last year when I needed blood work, the technician took one look at me sitting in my wheelchair and refused to draw blood, saying she was afraid she would hurt me. I was furious. I wanted to poke her eyeball with a needle. What a lady. The lady who drew my blood was helpful and smart today. She did her job with no fuss. My mom held my arm in case I jumped. Moms instinctively know what we need - or maybe mine is a star. I'm glad I spent time with Mom. I missed her. As an adult, it's hard to admit how much I still need her and that Cheerios make me so happy.


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