Sunday, March 08, 2009

Rain and reflection...

My coffee addiction is way out of control. I've been averaging about four cups a day - a considerable increase from my usual two. After dinner I seem to need that extra cup - or I think I do. For the last three evenings straight, I've been stopping by Starbucks for a late night dose of caffeine. Consequently, sleeping hasn't been great. Today, after missing a few nights of top-notch rest, I am feeling edgy, tired and a bit grumpy. There is no one to blame but myself. I will be home visiting my parents tonight, so I won't have the chance to stop by Starbucks. It's probably for the best.

I got caught in the rain yesterday afternoon. When I left to run errands, the sky was a bit grey, but rain seemed far away. After being out for a few hours, I came outside to find the skies had opened up. Trying to steer my wheelchair quickly, I felt a piece of my joystick break off. The whole controller was fully exposed to heavy rainwater - not a good thing. I carefully held the piece in my hand while trying to steer. It took a while and I got very wet. At least I was safe.

The Observer came over for the later part of the day. Two days in a row of Observer visits is a sweet deal. He showed up hungry, so I suggested we head out for an early dinner. I have been on a Subway sandwich kick lately and had a craving for another veggie sub loaded with pickles and hot sauce. The Observer needed something substantial. I suggested he opt for pizza, which he did. Hopefully, he really wanted pizza and didn't only go for it to appease me. I brought my sandwich into the pizza parlor and sat with the Observer while his panazzrotti cooked.

Once home, my Mom called. "You're not going out in this awful weather, are you?" she asked. I said no. Little did she know, I was sitting in wet jeans from being outside twice already. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. The Observer brought over the movie Australia. We didn't watch it all. The film was a bit like a western fantasy. It wasn't really our bag, though Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman did look like they had chemistry.

While watching Australlia, the Observer and I chatted about where our relationship is headed. I don't want to get married. The Observer does eventually. I am happy being a down-town, coffee-loving, city-trotting, free spirit who has a great boyfriend. There is little more I can ask for. That said, marriage is important to the Observer. It has always been in his future to be a husband. He would make an awesome one. I want him to make all his dreams come true, even if they don't include me.

Sitting in Starbucks last night, I looked across at the Observer's pure, kind face and realized how much I love those moments of simple contentment and great company. The Observer has a gigantic heart, amazing spirit and is the most adorable bald guy I know. I am so fortunate to be a part of his life. This is what I know for sure. The future is a big question mark for all of us. If we look too far into it, there is a chance we could miss out on those perfect evenings of stellar company over five star coffee. How sad would that be? The Observer makes rainy days better and helps me forget that I am sitting in rain soaked jeans. I am a blessed lady.


1 comment:


you are truly amazing.