Sunday, June 14, 2009

Knocking, nudging, and knowing...

I can't seem to wake up today. What's my problem? This morning I drank a big cup of coffee, but it doesn't seem to be kicking in.

The Observer came to see me yesterday. His knock on my apartment door was different. Usually it's a faint, drawn out knock, but this was a louder and shorter noise. His knock sounded serious - like he had somewhere to go and wasn't going to let anyone get in his way. An acquaintance from my childhood moved into my apartment building. We used to be close, but as we grew older, we've grown apart. I feel as we value different things in life. It's not clear if she feels the same about me. I'm a bit worried that she wants to be social and go out. Since she is now living so close, I feel a bit apprehensive. It's hard to maintain distance from a person when he or she is a few floors away. When I heard the distinctive knock, I was worried it was my acquaintance, but was relieved to see the Observer. I'd prefer opening my door to him over her in a heartbeat.

You know how you sometimes get an instinct that something is not right? Well, for the past few months, I've been getting a nudge from a higher power. The Observer has a female friend who he has been seeing socially from work. He has lots of female friends. I'm fine with ninety four point five percent of them, but there is something strange about his contact with this friend. I'm not comfortable with his seeing or communicating with her outside of work. I trust the Observer. He would never intentionally hurt me. I know that. He's so sweet, good-hearted, and friendly that I worry something could develop between him and his female friend without the Observer's awareness. I was upset last night when the girl texted him during our talk in Starbucks. After calming down and explaining ourselves, we reached a resolution. I hope I didn't come across as jealous, but I couldn't ignore my discomfort. I have a six star boyfriend and I want to keep him. Hopefully he is OK with me sticking around.

Later, we ran into my acquaintance and her boyfriend. It was bound to happen. We made small talk. I'll be polite, but not too polite. Relationships are all about keeping ourselves the right distance from one and another. I guess the world is small so we don't smother each other and learn to share the same space.

- OCG

1 comment:

THE OBSERVER said...

I LOVE YOU HUN OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO STICK AROUND...YOUR MY CHOCOLATE MILK IN MY ICE CAPP