Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Wedding countdown...

There's no better feeling than knowing we look good. I knew I looked pretty when I tried on my bridesmaid dress yesterday. It's beautiful. The dressmaker is the same lady who made my dress for my brother's wedding. She took the dress I wore for his big day and made this one. The top of my new dress is a very tight, white strapless tank and a long black skirt. My Mom had trouble doing up the top, but the dressmaker helped her. I know I have gained weight since my brother's wedding two years ago. I can see it in pictures. I know the dressmaker can easily let out the top, but the fact that my dress needs those alterations bothers me. Weight gain is like the end of the world. Call me vain. It has less to do with my physical appearance than my self worth. I am complicated. The way I see myself is a bit off....

I have eaten like a pig for the last few days. I know hearing about my food intake is not the most exciting topic, but I am stressing. What if I am too fat to fit in my dress on my sister's wedding day??????????? The more I stress, the more I will eat, so I need to relax. My plan from now until the wedding day is to eat three meals a day and try to make them as healthy as possible. My focus needs to shift to the day being about my sister, not about my weight. Marriage is sacred and no one will care about my size except me. I may be a bit heftier, but I still looked pretty. In my moments of panic during the next three weeks, I will keep reminding myself that I am going to be fine.

The weather was sunny, summery and bright yesterday. I enjoyed visiting my family. When I first arrived, I was pretty grumpy, but I brightened after a coffee. I think I was going through caffeine withdrawal. The up I get from coffee is serious. For dinner, Mom made me a big chicken salad and I ate zucchini, and a pound of grapes. Everything was healthy, but it still felt like too much food. My parents' puppy, Riley has learned that she is the perfect height to steal my plate when I am eating meals. She stands propped on her four legs and tries to quickly pull my plate over with her paw. She's clever that puppy. When we got home from my dress fitting, my sister-in-law used her espresso machine to make me an Americano (A Canadian version of Italian espresso) The coffee was frothy, smooth and delicious. It had some creamy top that I loved. There's no coffee like the one made with an espresso machine.

It was midnight before I got home. Earlier in the day, I spoke to the Observer and told him I probably wouldn't talk to him again until later. I never got a chance to call him. I came home to ten messages on my answering machine. Nine were from the Observer. I had to laugh. He's as anxious as my Mom. When I am an old lady, I will be thankful that someone wanted to talk to me so much. I was tired but happy that I got to see my family and excited for my sister's fast approaching wedding day. I am so happy for her. She deserves every bit of the joy we all dream of on our wedding day. Hopefully her wedding will be one of the best days of her life. I don't know much about marriage, but I hope my sister's first day as a wife is as bright as all the days ahead.


1 comment:


I was soooooooooooo worried about you........I'M SO HONORED TO BE A PART OF THE SPECIAL DAY......I LOVE YOU