Dad keeps calling me. Since our talk where I said that I wasn't happy, I think he feels the need to check up on me. I am feeling smothered. I want to say, "Leave me alone please..........I love you, but I'll love you more if you give me room to breath...."I have a hunch that Dad is having alcohol troubles. When I go home, sometimes there are empty bottles suspiciously stashed in my cupboard. Mom doesn't drink, so couldn't it only be Dad? Alcoholism runs in his family. Ironically, last Friday, he told me a story about how he drove to the liquor one day at noon. My older sister and brother were small and sitting in the back seat of his car. He'd already had a few beers by then, so he was driving buzzed. Catching sight of himself in the rear view mirror, Dad made the wise decision to turn the car around. Given the empty bottles I have seen recently, I can't help but be suspicious. Could Dad have been trying to tell me that he is struggling with demons of his own? Maybe I am being too emotional and analytical, but he's my Dad. How can I not worry? On a similar level, I'm his daughter, so I suppose it's hard for him not to worry about me too. Having parents who love and care about me is a blessing. I still need to breath.
Speaking of addictions, I went through a whole package of spearmint gum yesterday. Isn't that crazy? I didn't buy anymore today. I've bought coffee every day too. Timothy's is the greatest coffee ever. Passing by a store today, I HAD to get myself a coffee. I old the lady who works there that they make the greatest coffee. She smiled and said, "That's always nice to hear."
We all have vices. It's a matter of enjoying them in moderation.