Read some thoughts, poems, song lyrics, quotes and other meaningful things from a lady who thinks too much, lives each day sitting in a wheelchair, feels deeply, and enjoys life, especially orange coloured objects, music, tea, laughing, and hanging out with the cool folk.
Friday, January 29, 2010
It's winter outside again today. Oh well, it's refreshing.....kind of. I listened to music this morning and felt the sun streaming through my window. It's healing. I'm glad there is sunshine. It makes any pain or cold more bearable. Everyday I have waves of sadness. Why is it hitting me now? There are so many memories in my head - so much laughter. Some relationships end because of pain. Not mine. I still love the Observer, but I understand that we're not meant to be together. I think of my snappy remarks, how we rarely went out for dinner, and my lack of affectionate behaviour towards him and I feel sad.. Sometimes I hurt the Observer because I was hurting. Maybe it wasn't obvious to him, but I often regretted my actions and words. The Observer always treated me with love and I often acted out of pain....sometimes I wanted to disappear.
Truthfully, life sucks a lot these days. I feel so big, alone and crazy, but I try to smile anyway. If the sun is out, maybe it's telling me to look up.