Saturday, April 17, 2010

Goodbye gum....

I had the best sleep last night. It was windy and cold. A wall collapsed in my hood. Being out all day, I didn't get a chance to talk to Mom. She was worried. I bought pizza for dinner from Pizzaolo. I asked for a slice of vegan. They were out, so I agreed to wait while they made fresh pizza The guy gave me a small pizza with cheese. I said, "I only wanted a slice." Eating a whole small pizza alone would have made me freak afterwards. Since the parlour went to the trouble of making pizza for me, I didn't want to be rude and argue about cheese. The store gave it to me for free...sweet. Maybe they felt bad that they weren't accessible. When it comes to food, I'm trying hard to loosen my rules. Carrying my pizza, my cell phone rang. With busy hands, I couldn't answer it. Part me wondered if someone was calling to say that my sister-in-law was in labour. I was conflicted as to whether I should go home. hunger and pizza called, so I ate inside a plaza. The pizza was greasy. All my toppings fell off when I took it out of the bag, but oh well.

I came home parched with thirst. I drank Chai Chocolate Tea and Kool-aide. Talk about desert thrist. Exhausted, I watched Oprah. Elton John performed Tiny Dancer. Ironically, watching him reminded me of being in Collingwood and listening to my brother perform Tiny Dancing while playing Karaoke....He was hilarious. Tiny Dancer is a long-winded tune, but Elton is a professional. Yesterday's episode of Golden Girls was about a lonely empty nester. Watching the woman, I couldn't help thinking of my parents. This is the first weekend since I became single and started recovery that I've stayed at my apartment. I feel so free!

Gosh, it feels like winter outside. Looking out my window, there were wet flurries. I listened to tunes this morning. I heard What Do Want From Me? by Adam Lambert and cranked my radio up. The Observer gave me my stereo three months after we started dating. Every day I flip it on...Thanks Observer! I went to the market and bought a bag of apples and a bagel for lunch. Bagels are my new addiction. On the way to my apartment, I saw an attendant and asked how she was. "I'm alright, you know," she answered. She said she was borrowing my favourite phrase. I do say it often.

I haven't chewed gum in a week. Since I'm eating when I'm hungry, I don't feel compelled to devour a whole pack every day. Gum chewing was my addiction. I'm no longer hungry ALL the time and I don't eat massive amounts of food at one sitting as much. Yes, I still slip. Yes, I'm flabby. Somehow, the world doesn't feel like it will end. I'm alright, you know.


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