Sunday, May 30, 2010

god and my bladder...

I'm tired today. Church was boring. I didn't feel God's presence. I did feel the need to pee. ignoring a full bladder isn't easy or smart. i had a great evening last night and was so reeved up I couldn't sleep. it's a fun feeling. i think it's called a natural high..Whatever it is, it's good.

outside is hot. I'm wearing red capris. i watched Tori And Dean last night. What a dumb show! I also watched some of One True Thing. I haven't seen that movie in ages. It's sad..Speaking of sadness, a tenant in my building is dying. His name is Rod and he's super sweet. Rod is my Dad's age. He has an attendant with him all day and night. We should never be alone during our last days. I am happy he has people around him. everyone deserves company, especially when we move on.


Saturday, May 29, 2010

On this side of the fence...

My family and I went to Cagney's yesterday. Cole wasn't there, but it was still nice. My brother says he has learned how to scream. My sister and her husband heard the baby's heart beat. It's strong. Carlie's blood pressure is high. The doctor is a bit worried. I'm confident in my sister's health sense. Not having seen my sister for a few weeks, I've missed here. My twin's girlfriend was so excited to check out my sister's belly. She asked who the baby's godparents will be. I think she elected herself. We teased her. It's obvious my brother's girlfriend is dying to get married. Three of us had warm chicken salads. I enjoyed my dinner, but had too much bread.

On the bus yesterday I saw a guy with clock taped to his wheelchair tray. I told him he was doing a service to humanity, because I didn't have to look at my watch. He laughed....I think I talk too much.

Mom told me that I'm not as obsessed with food. I guess not. I'm big, but life's better on this side of the fence.


Friday, May 28, 2010

Grocery store bump-ins

Life's alright today. There is more sunshine. I ran out of coffee this morning. Luckily, I had just enough for my morning cup. Without it, there would have been trouble. Weight Watchers breads were on sale at Metro. I'm addicted to Weight Watchers pitas. I just discovered they have two points instead of one, but whatever. I bought flat breads too. I'm trying to read a book called Big Girl by Danielle Steal. It's a bit superficial for my liking, but it never hurts to read different types of novels, right?

While getting bread, I ran into a friend's husband. He's Mexican I think. He asked how the Observer was. When I told him we broke up, he looked uncomfortable. It's understandable. His wife is super sweet.

Remember "Nigel?" (The friend of the Observer's who has dated a few of my friends) I ran into his latest girlfriend on the street today. She's happy. What she sees in "Nigel," I'll never know...

I'm dressed in an orange skirt today and have funky hair. Now I know why people say to always look my best. I never know who will be at the grocery store.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Burnt eyeballs...

Outside is super warm again. I'm redder today than yesterday. Just call me "Lobster Face". Argh! I have weekend plans and I want to be in top form. I'm tired. Last night I spent an hour and a half on the phone with my best friend. We had a funny chat. There was a part in the Golden Girls where Sophia said to Rose, "Did you and Arnie play 'find the cannolli?' " We couldn't stop laughing. On my way to my appointment today, I didn't stop by the pretty purple tulips to express my gratitude for being here...I was too hot.

These days I am in love with music and life. I watched Julia Roberts on Oprah talking about Eat, Pray, Love. The book was alright, so not surprisingly, the movie looks OK too. Julia Roberts seems normal, but a little inflated. If you're a big movie star, I suppose it's hard to avoid.

I think my eyeballs are sunburned. Do you think Julia Roberts knows how that feels?


Wednesday, May 26, 2010


My face and arms are red like a lobster. Sunscreen would have been smart. Today hasn't been productive. I spent the morning listing to music and talking to Mom. A deer was trapped in the backyard this morning. Mom called the human society who said the deer would find his way out eventually. Mom remained vigilant about watching the scared animal. I guess deers can be violent when they're scared. Eventually the deer left. Poor creature. He or she was probably stunned.

Speaking of being stunned, I banged my knee going through the library turn style last night. It took me a minute to realize what happened. Funky colours appeared in front of my eyes...I couldn't talk for a few minutes. My leg went numb. Very odd feeling....I remembered dad putting me in a police officer's death grip a few months ago. He knocked the wind out of me. He told me he wanted to make sure he still had the knack. I'd say so. I'm still laughing about it.

- ocg

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Three good days...

My long weekend was fun. Saturday night was good. My friend and I went to The Keg. It was a nice dinner. My salad with chicken was yummy. I tried an iced coffee from Tim Hortons and took the subway home. Good times!

I saw Cole on Sunday. He opened his eyes and moved his toes when I touched his knee! So exciting! My brothers and I were ALL over him! Poor dude! Mom made steak, chicken and peanut butter pie. Can you say "delicious?"

We visited grandpa yesterday. He didn't want to wake up, but perked when he saw him. That made my day....

For a long weekend, every day was extra good.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Blood, babies, peace and a long weekend...

Last night I wheeled to my old neighbourhood. Being so lovely outside, I was in the mood for a stroll. It was peaceful but a bit cold when the sun went down. I passed some pretty purple tulips whenever I'm in that area on Thursdays. I had to stop and admire the same flowers last night. I ran into my old university/work friend and we chatted for a bit. We've grown apart in the last year, but it's cool.

I tried to watching Grey's Anatomy's two-hour season finale. It was VERY violent, bloody and traumatizing. A shooter was at large in the hospital. I was disturbed and kept fast-forwarding through the scary parts. The episode really sad........I saw Dolly Parton on Oprah. She said, "It's expensive to look this cheap." Dolly hasn't really changed.

I'm meeting an old friend in my old neighbourhood for dinner tonight. We're meeting at the subway. I'm nervous we won't be able to find each other.......It was rainy this morning. I was going to go to the market to get the shishkabob I forget yesterday, but I got lazy. I have been eating the pumpernickel bagels I bought for Mom and Dad. I saw Simon Cowell on Oprah. He's surprisingly pleasant and reserved. Oprah talked about a new documentary called Babies that showcases babies from around the world. It looks cute. Speaking of babies, I'm going home tomorrow to see my family and Cole. Bring on the baby love!

Happy May 2-4 weekend!


Friday, May 21, 2010

Soaking up the sunshine...

Where do I usually go a beautiful day? To the St. Lawerence market of course.....I had to give a reference for my favourite attendant before I left. I hope my attendant gets the job. Everything I said was positive and truthful.

The market was packed. I guess shoppers were getting ready for the May 2-4 weekend. Mom asked me to get shishkabobs. I wanted sixteen for our family dinner on Sunday, but I messed up and only got twelve. Maybe I'll go back tomorrow. Being Saturday, the Market will probably be busier than today, but I don't mind. A sweet girl helped me. I almost got helped by the cute butcher guy, but the girl took over. Darn!

I'm not a big meat eater, but I do like cute guys....


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Boys and burritos

It's five star sunshine out there. I spent most of the day outside. Yesterday I tried a coffee frappicuno. It was delicious after the first sip, but soon lost its coffee appeal. I think Tim Horton's iced capicunnos are better. They are cheaper too. Today I tried a burrito from Quesada Mexican Grill. it's been a week of new foods. I ate my dinner outside. Being near the market on such a beautiful day, I couldn't resist. I ran into my best friend. Her friend took our picture. We were told to "smile sexy". I laughed. Such a historic part of town was the perfect place for a picture.

My doctor is having a baby. I thought so. I'm good now....Should my next new thing will be smiling sexy?

I think Cole is having a "boys operation." My friend said she heard so from my sister-in-law. Maybe it's my brother instead. Whoever it is....ouch!


Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Airplanes by B.O.B. featuring Hailey Williams

I have the song Airplanes stuck in my head. It's a groovy tune. There is some major sunshine outside...It's been a good few days. I treated myself to vegan pizza for dinner last night. Such a yummy addiction I have! Since they opened the new Pizziolo shop that I can get into, I can't get enough of vegan pizza. While eating dinner, some male stranger leaned down and prayed in front of me. I have a hunch he was praying for my healing, but maybe it was peace. Prayer is always welcome. That said, I'm not holding out hope for healing. Life is good.

I tried an espresso frappicuno from Starbucks today. It was yummy, but so is brewed coffee. Simple is sweet.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ya know?

The Smith family was on Oprah yesterday. The show featured Will, his wife Jada and their kids. They appear to be a good family - though a little earthy. Both Smith parents say "Ya know?" an awful lot. Ya know? Jada's quite intense. I wouldn't want to cross her. She just looks...tough.

Last night I was supposed to go out for coffee with my friend Daniele. She attended a conference at the Ramada hotel not far from where I live. Daniele must have gotten tied up as she never called. Earlier in the afternoon, I went out in search of the hotel. While searching, I ran into Mavis, my former attendant. Mavis used to be very blunt, but she has softened. She seems happier. Being happy benefits everyone.

My friend April took pictures of my nephew. There's a new profile picture of Cole on my sister-in-law's Facebook. Cole is sleeping. It's a sweet picture. Babies make life brighter.

Ya know?


Monday, May 17, 2010


I saw the Observer yesterday. We had dinner at Sherway's Pickle Barrel. It's always great to see the Observer.....I miss much. It's hard not to say the things I did, because I still feel them. I love the Observer. How could I not???????? I wanted to tell him that, but it would have been awkward. I think the Observer knows I love him. I hope so. It's hard to say those words, because we're not together. We have such a great time. There was a point during bites of my bruschetta when the Observer asked me if I met anyone I was interested in. I choked, I've met a few friendly people who would be good coffee friends, but that's it. Admitting so felt really awkward. Before the Observer, I rarely went out with guys I wasn't dating. I'm not ready for another relationship. I'm still getting over my last one. To think of dating again is strange. I want to meet people who like conversation, coffee and friendship. I don't want a boyfriend, because the one I had was pretty great and I need time to heal.

There is a sign in front of Cafe Mania that says "Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you anywhere." I am imaging peace.


Sunday, May 16, 2010

Sunday sunshine and sweetness...

Today is sunny outside. I guess it's a sunny Sunday. My plan was to go to church this morning, but I got caught up listening to the Ryan Seacrest show on Virgin Radio. Church isn't too close to me, so I didn't feel like making the trek. It may be beautiful outside, but sometimes going the distance just isn't appealing.

I taped a seven hour Everybody Loves Raymond marathon and watched a few episodes last night. I have seen most of them, but they still make me laugh. There was a funny episode where Ray had to give a eulogy for his uncle that I had never seen....Everybody Loves Raymond isn't my favourite show, but it's light humour, which is good for the soul.

Mom is going to a bridal shower this afternoon. My sister-in-law is a bridesmaid in the wedding, so she'll be at the show too. She's bringing Cole. I'm jealous...I bet he'll be dressed in the sweetest outfit. He's sweet no matter what.


Saturday, May 15, 2010


Last night was fun. I visited my friend Danielle at her apartment, which is where I used to live. Being back at the building felt familiar. I saw Merlyn, my first attendant ever and Bernadette. I love them both. I arrived late but came with a chocolate cupcake and a vanilla cupcake from Starbucks. At least I wasn't late and empty handed. Dinner was pasta with meat sauce. Franci was there. She's our mutual friend. Her birthday just passed, so Danielle made her a rainbow bit cake with purple icing. It looked great and was delicious. Danielle is super sweet. Franci was her usual blunt self. She was sleeping over at Danielle's apartment. I'm glad Franci wasn't my overnight guest.

We watched All In The Family and Three's Company on Dajavu. Both are my all-time favourite shows. I might see if I can switch a channel in my cable package to Dajavu. Danielle and I were singing to the theme songs. I don't think Franci enjoyed the shows. She was on Facebook for most of the visit. Franci is cheap and sarcastic. She takes advantage of friends. Three can be company, but it can also be a crowd.


Friday, May 14, 2010

Open Your Eyes...

Open your eyes now
it’s time to see
if you can reach me
open your eyes now
it’s time to leave me

open your eyes now
it’s time to see
if you still believe in me
open your life now
i’ll try to be all that you need me to be

she’ll be a star now
i will follow her lead
she’ll be a scar now
i will still let her bleed

open your eyes now
and try to speak
like you can see me
open your eyes now
i’ll try to be almost everything you need me to be

she’ll be a star now
i will follow her lead
she’ll be a scar now
i will still let her bleed
all over me

By Andrew Belle

Fun Friday...

It's a gorgeous Friday outside. The weather is very sunny and spring-like. Yay! I went to the market for a whole wheat bagel this morning. Good times! I ran out of toothpaste this morning. Not very smart, huh? I hit up Shoppers Drug Mart. Last night i watched Grey's Anatomy and Golden Girls. Rose was dating an impotent man. There was a scene where she was eating a cream puff and said that "Whenever she tried to make cream puffs at home, she couldn't get them to rise." I couldn't stop laughing.

I'm going to visit a friend tonight. It should be a fun night!


Thursday, May 13, 2010


Today has been rainy, damp and cold. Yuck! There's a chill in my bones..........I went to my Thursday appointment. It was reassuring. Geneen Roth was talking about her new book on Oprah last night. The show was mostly Oprah talking about her own struggles with weight. Hump...we know...we know....I bought a bagel from the bagel house today. They gave it to me for free. Sweet! Out of bread, I headed to Loblaws and bought Weight Watchers bread and new Weight Watchers pitas. I'll see how the pitas are. I ate vegan pizza for dinner from Pizziolo. I had the whole wheat Diana kind. I think it's my favourite.

It might be rainy, but life's still good. I know this blog is mostly about food, so I hope it's not boring. Food is important, but I'm learning that it's not everything.


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The little heartbreaker...

Here is Cole Comyn Ladner. I've seen him twice. Cole brought me to tears the first time I saw him. He's so little and sweet. I love his blond hair. It's amazing how babies fill our hearts with love....Cole reminds me of my twin brother Jeff. Maybe it's the hair. Jeff tried getting Cole to clasp his fingers, but not yet. Seeing both my brothers so paternal warms my heart. There's no love like baby love.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Welcome Cole!

It's a boy!!!!!!!! My brother and his wife are parents! My mom and dad are grandparents! My brother's an uncle! My sister and I are aunts! Cole weighed 7 pounds twelve ounces. I hear he's cute, quiet and calm. Today Mom is picking me up to visit him. I can't wait! I couldn't sleep last night. I was so excited. Mom called and broke the news. She is over the moon. We all are. I called Dad and the Observer. My twin has seen Cole. I know I will cry. I can't believe he's here! Everyone has been waiting, especially my sister-in-law. It's a wonderful day! In another six months, our family will be blessed with another baby. I'm happy to start round one.


Thursday, May 06, 2010

Passing time with Keisha and pizza...


You're not here yet. Where are you??????????? Well, I know where you are. The question is: why aren't you out? At 4:30 this afternoon, Mom left me a message saying that nothing had really changed. No real contractions - just waiting. My cell phone has been on ALL day. No rings.

I went to my Thursday appointment. I got a talking to. I guess I have a bad habit of searching for insults, like eavesdropping and hearing my attendant say how heavy I am. I was told such behaviour is sneaky and not conducive to recovery. I knew that already. Being told never hurts.

I ran out of coffee and bought some at Sobeys. I wasn't going to get any until later, but though I best given how up in the air my plans feel. My whole family feels this way. Running out of coffee is never an option. There is lots of action on the street. They say there's suspected gang activity. At least there are lots of police around. The streets smell like horse poop. The odor reminds of Dad coming home from work when I was little. Horse poop was my natural scent.

I had Vittorio pizza from Pizziolo for dinner. I felt like celebrating early. It had tomato sauce, roasted red peppers, tomatoes and zucchini. While it was tasty, I like the Diana vegan pizza best. They just opened a Pizziolo store that is wheelchair accessible. Yay! I tried it last Friday night. The service is good and the pizza is the best in the city. While having dinner in the shop, the tune Your Love Is My Drug played on the radio. Vegan pizza and good music are an awesome way to pass time, but please come baby. One day you'll be old enough to eat pizza, but you've got to leave your Mom's tummy before that can happen.


Here he or she comes...

I saw the Observer yesterday. We met at the mall. As always, I enjoyed our time. Hopefully he did too. I don't want to be reckless with the Observer's heart, but I really want to be friends. I overheard an attendant tell another attendant that I've "sure gotten heavy." her remark bothered me, but she was being honest. I wasn't meant to hear...I emailed the manger and asked him to tell her not to comment on my weight.

My sister-in-law got induced at 10:00 this morning. Last I heard, her water broke and she was beginning to dilate. That was hours ago. I'm so excited!

It's the baby's birthday today!


Wednesday, May 05, 2010

To the newest family member....

Welcome to the world little baby! Tomorrow will be your first day here. We're so excited to meet you, especially your Mom and Dad. I think you're a boy, but we'll love you just the same if you're a girl. You're a week overdue. I hope you're ready for life, love laughter and learning. We are ready for you....

You should know that your Mom is very sweet. Beyond her sweetness, she is strong. Last year she fought cancer. Your Mom and Dad stood strong and united, ready for whatever came their way. Don't worry, your Mom's healthy now. In the toughest year of their lives, your mom and dad found a light at the end of the tunnel - you. Your dad's a tease, but he will worry about you. Go easy on the guy. Your his first child.

Your aunts and uncles are jokers, but everyone has good intentions. If you want something, ask grandpa. He'll cave.

So, little baby, I just want to say hi. There are so many people waiting for you. We have so much love for you already.


Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Beautiful people...

Today has been beautiful outside. I have been out all day, mostly back and forth to the library. I had a pumpernickel bagel craving, so I went to the St. Lawrence Market. I saw my usual bagel lady. She's sweet.

Last night I watched Naomi Campbell on Oprah. Naomi signed Oprah's No Phone Zone pledge promising not to talk on her phone while driving. Oprah joked that she ought to promise not to throw her phone. Naomi is GORGEOUS.......She has issues though. Everyone does, even God's most stunning creations.

Dancing With The Stars in on tonight. I say Pamela Anderson's going to go. She looks to be enjoying dancing, so that's what matters.


Monday, May 03, 2010

Oh baby! Happy Birthday!

Outside has felt sticky and warm. Spring is here I guess. Yesterday I missed church. On Saturday night, I took Kleen Prep and felt off. Having had trouble with the call of nature in the past, I didn't want to chance it. Instead I went to Shoppers Drug Mart and bought an EB games gift card for my brother and a Best Buy gift card for my sister-in-law. My bus ride was hot and sticky. At my parents' house, I changed into a more summer-like top. My brother and sister-in-law arrived after me. My sister-in-law looks VERY uncomfortable. She kept commenting that "it must be really hot in my sister's house, because she's all bundled up." My sister-in-law knows that my sister is pregnant....I felt awkward knowing.

We had a great dinner yesterday. My brother got shirts and golfing money. As she does every year on my brother's birthday, Mom made Rainbow Bit cake - only in cupcake form. They were yummy. I ate too. My bother was pleased. My brother-in-law asked what the plan will be at the hospital when the baby is coming. Everyone got a bit nervous. The biologial members of my family get nervous discussing private stuff......There isn't really a plan, but it looks as though my sister-in-law will be induced on Thursday.

Sleeping was a bit tricky last night. It's hot. My fallen pole is now standing. Now I can stand too!


Saturday, May 01, 2010


It's the Marijuana March downtown today. I say, if you want to smoke up, go ahead. Earlier today, there was rain, but not much. Last night I watched the show Four Weddings on TLC and read Still Alice. I'm halfway through and can sense it will be sad. it's getting good.

i need to write blogs for bloorview but have been procrastinating. If you're reading this, please send me some writing vibes. i am also plugged up, so some unconstipating vibes would really be appreciated too.

stay sunshine!


TWO babies!

Well, I'm SO glad I met my sister and her husband at the market this morning. I said I would meet them at the strudel table. That's exactly where I found my brother-in-law. Once we found my sister, she said she had something to show me. She passed me a card with a cartoon picture of herself, her husband and a little bald head. I knew she was telling me that she is pregnant! As soon as I said, "Congratulations!" I looked up to find Mom and Dad standing there with a camera snapping pictures of us. They're so funny, proud and cute! Soon they will grandparents......

My sister told me that there were two heartbeats for her first ultrasound but the second one kind of disappeared. I got a bit choked up hearing about potential twins, but somehow it must be for the best....

Only three of us know my sister is expecting. (Actually, I called the Observer and told him) He's the first person I was dying to call. The others will know after Mother's Day once my first niece or nephew arrives. I can't believe TWO babies will be here!!! Keisha and Lil' Wayne are going to be such good friends.

One baby is a gift. Two babies are a double blessing. Shhh....about my sister.