Thursday, August 23, 2012
* the chance to talk to an old friend last night
* the ability to forgive
* my second niece Hannah being born today
* my attendant Carolyn
* my sister being a Mom again
* The Observer for understanding how uncomfortable it is for me to feel fat
* my sister-in-law Katherine
* Grey's Anatomy on DVD
* that my dietician quit and I won't be getting a replacement
* my Mom and Dad
*The picture below of Skylar today
Monday, August 20, 2012
This clip is from the show Starving Secrets. Starving Secrets has generated a lot of talk among people who struggle with eating disorders. Though Tracy Gold is dramatic, I enjoy the show because it's real. I understand the pain and obstacles. The clip of Lauren made me sob, especially around 4:45. I have felt the same determination as Lauren to not give in to the destructive whisper. Pizza is food, but for some, pizza can be so bittersweet.
Thursday, August 09, 2012
There was a Caribbean festival this past weekend in the city. It's a few days of music, floats, and dare I say, violence. Locals (like me) are not interested. We know it can get dangerous.
My newly painted bedroom looks great! It's Batman blue. I hope the Observer likes it! We chose a taupe colour for the kitchen and living room. The sun-room is being re-painted orange. Orange makes my heart happy. The painter is awesome. She's conscious and into repairing holes. On the weekend I finished the book The House I Loved by Titanna De Rosnay. It was sweet and mysterious. Now I'm going to go back to reading Big Girl by Danielle Steel. The book belongs to my Mom and has been on my shelf for years. I want to read it because I stare at the book all the time...It's chic literature. There's a place for that in my life, especially during summer.
The Observer came over on Saturday. We ate dinner. Well, I ate his pasta plus my bagel with peanut butter and jam. I was in a "stuff my face" kind of mood. I ate a Resse cup and wanted more food. We spilt a bag of Twizzlers while watching Celeste And Jesse Forever and Part Of Me. I LOVED Celeste And Jesse Forever. The characters were hilarious and the ending was realistic. I'm a sucker for sleeper hits. The Katy Perry documentary was fine. I'm ambivalent about her.
I spent Simcoe day with my family. My sister is ready to pop with baby #2! She and her family have moved in with my parents until their new house is ready. It's cute, but I'm still attached to their old house. I guess the new house will grow on me... We went to see my grandparents. Grandpa winked at me. I met my Grandma's neice Anna. She was funny.
On Tuesday I got weighed and went to my women's group. I'm up two and half pounds in three weeks. I'm okay. Somewhere inside, I knew I needed to gain a bit of weight. My doctor was tired of me consistently losing. Now I just want to live my life. Isn't that what we all want?
Today was rainy. I met up with Observer at the mall. We bumped into my friend Christina and her Mom. Christina and I had a long talk yesterday. I've been avoiding her because I think I accidentally threw away CDs belonging to her Mom. Poor Christina thought I wanted to end our friendship. I confessed to her about the CDs and we're okay now....phew!
I just read this tweet from author Geneen Roth: As you go through the day today, ask yourself this question: What's NOT wrong? Notice it. Take it in. Allow yourself to be filled.
I am inside my cozy apartment after seeing my fiance, my friend forgave me, and I will soon be closing my eyes to sleep. What's wrong with any of that? Nothing. It's all good.