Saturday, September 22, 2012

I'm grateful for....

* The first Saturday of Fall 2012

* The way my attendant Betty does my hair

* Pumpkin coffee from Timothys

* Living so close to Carlton Cinema

* Not feeling so hungry anymore

* The sun shining

* Tobias Board meetings

* Pizza

* How talking about my experiences can help others

* Laughing with the Observer

* The satisfaction of finishing a book

* Watching the people outside my sun room window who look dressed for Halloween

* Being able to spend the night in my childhood bed

* The way I feel when the Observer hugs me

* Knowing how to take the subway

Enjoy your weekend!


Friday, September 21, 2012

Imagine Dragons - It's Time

We went to see To Rome With Love today. Being a Woody Allen movie, I knew it would be unique. The beginning was funny, but the plot got too confusing.

I tweeted,  I wasn't in love with the movie "To Rome With Love." Halfway through, I ditched it for cheese pizza and mousse. #choppyplot

There's a new movie coming out called The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

Here's a song from the trailer.

Happy fall!

- OCG 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Fire at my building....

We had a horrible evening at my apartment building last night.  You can read about it here.

My heart goes out to my attendants and the guy who died. He was infamous for drugs and street activity. He followed trouble. He liked to make small talk with me. A few hours before he died, I came home and he saw me in the building lobby. He said he could "smell the hot peppers" (from the sub hanging on the back of his wheelchair). He told me he loved hot peppers and I told him I did too. Little did he know the worst kind of heat would soon claim his life.

I was there when attendants came into their lounge screaming that the guy had burned to death. I saw them crying. I was there when firemen burst through the building and told us to get out. My wheelchair controller got pushed out of my reach, so I was blocking the entrance until an attendant helped me.

We stayed outside for three hours. It felt like a bad dream. The guy who died never did things simply. He went down in the news on September 11. 

R.I.P dude.

- OCG  

Monday, September 10, 2012

A lot of sweetness....

I had a great weekend. I went to women's group on Friday and watched My Week With Marilyn. I've seen the move before but still enjoyed it. I asked for more dessert when no one else did. I was embarrassed, I've been so hungry lately. What's up with this body? Later I stopped off for prickly pear tea. It was disappointing but warmed me up. I ran into a former friend and we made awkward small talk...

The next day Dad came over. Everything had to be moved for the painter. Now, with freshly painted walls,  it was time to put my belongings back into place. We had a short visit. For months now, I've been agonizing over thinking I accidentally threw out a friend's CDs. I even e-mailed my friend and apologized for not being able to find her CDs. While moving things, my Dad found them. I was so happy I almost cried!  

After saying goodby to Dad, I took the subway to the bus station. From there, I got another ride to visit the Observer at his apartment. We ate dinner and someone we encountered made a stupid triggering comment. I'm ashamed to say how much it affected me. Whatever. I've never been fat and never plan to be. If I do get fat, all that will change is my clothing size. Life will go on. I watched Sex In The 2 at my parents' that night. The movie wasn't any different for the first one or the show. It was light but oddly comforting - kind of like Disney movies.

On Sunday morning, Mom made me chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I even had syrup with them. They were so yummy. Later, the Observer and I met his parents at an Italian festival downtown. We stopped at a Sicilian Sidewalk Cafe for coffees, sandwiches and desserts. I had a delicious canolli. We saw accordion players and dancers. It was fun. Before heading home, we went to the same cafe for ice cream. I had the best chocolate gelato of my life. There was not much room in my schedule or tummy for fruit and vegetables that day. Amazingly, I didn't care. Food isn't everything, but it can be a part of having fun.

I'm so tired tonight. Summer is ending. I'm excited to see the leaves change. Watching leaves change colour always gives me hope. I can change too.


Sunday, September 02, 2012

Ellen Degeneres on eating popcorn at the movies...

The Observer and I watched Ellen on DVD at our friend Danielle's apartment last night. This clip about eating popcorn made us all laugh. It's so true! Enjoy your popcorn at the movies!


I will stop when I'm full....

For the past week, I have been binging. I've talked about binging before. It's excessive over-eating. For instance, one night I ate seven granola bars after dinner. Binging, for me, is a response to feeling hungry, tired, deprived or all of those things. It sucks. When binging gets really out of control, I wake up in a cold sweat. I was advised this happens from raising my metabolic rate. It's definitely a shock to my system and not in a good way. 

Last night we had dinner at home. I had my Mom's mac and cheese and I was full. We went out for dessert with friends and I ordered a very tiny brownie. I was not satisfied, so I had a restaurant version of a Joe Louis. It was a large piece of chocolate cake smothered in whipped, cream and red velvet cake. I was full afterwards, but still manged to finished the Observer's cookie dessert. At our friends house, I finished off a whole bag of Rice Krispy squares. I binge in full view of friends. There are strong urges inside me. I feel better that I paid for my food. If I'm going to binge, at least the Observer didn't pay for it. All this eating makes me feel awful. I don't know how much weight I've gained. I'm scared. What if I get back to my heaviest weight? Ugh. I've enjoyed fitting into smaller clothes over the summer, but those days might be over. I'm wearing tights today. They stretch.....

It's Labour Day weekend and gorgeous outside. I'm going home today to visit my family. Seeing Hannah and Skylar will be sweet - my beautiful girls. The Observer and I got engaged a year ago. It was such an exciting, special period. I'm still very happy about getting married. However, I want to treat my body better. I want to stop feeding it when it's full.

The painter is almost done painting my apartment. The sunroom is yellow. I love it. It's called Newborn. The curtains are off the window and I get to see everything that goes on outside. Curtains are physically difficult for me to pull back,so they often get in my way. No curtains makes for easy viewing. Privacy will be best, but, for now, it's a refreshing change.

I hope to have a better week eating wise. I will treat my body kindly, which means I will stop eating when I'm full. Happy Labour Day weekend. Be kind to your body. I will try to do the same!