Saturday, October 27, 2012

Rainy Saturday....

The sound of rain hitting the window is becoming familiar. October and November are known for rain. There's a song called November Rain isn't there? Today I am going to Joe's (my future brother-law's) house to celebrate the birthday of the Observer's Mom. I've not seen her since calling off the engagement party. I feel lucky to be included in her birthday. I need to take two buses to get to Joe's house. I will be in a lighter wheelchair. I'm nervous. At Easter when I traveled in the taxi, I flipped over. Thankfully I wasn't hurt. There are lots of family birthdays now. After visiting the Observer's family tonight, I'm going to stop by a restaurant to celebrate our 30th birthdays (my twin brother, my sister-in-law and myself) . I'm not a big party lover, so I'm just as happy to show up late. Small family dinners are more my style.....

Tomorrow my family is having dinner. As usual, my Mom is making my twin brother's favourite German Chocolate cake. My cake will be pumpkin cheesecake. It's a new recipe that I'm excited to try. My Mom is the best. She always makes birthday dinners special. Monday will be spent withe Observer. The plan is to go to Hot House Cafe and have stuffed chicken, mashed potatoes and chocolate cake. We'll see how brave I feel and how the weather holds up for our trek. The back-up plan is to see The Art Of Being A Wallflower. Whatever happens, we'll be together.

My actual birthday is on Tuesday. Since the Observer is working, Mom asked me if I wanted to come home. There is a part of my head that is freaking out about all the food that is ahead. Tuesday could be my chance to eat "cleanly" all alone. The other side of my head knows that Mom is having a cardiology appointment and it might be helpful if I were there to talk. I always worry about Mom and her heart....I've wasted so much time and energy worrying about food. I love my Mom more than my eating worries.

Next Sunday, my niece turns two and the Observer's Dad turns sixty four. Being in two places at once is impossible. We'll figure our plans out. There is so much love and celebrating. Life is short and it's times like these that make it count.

I'm out of the rain and grateful for that right now.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Fall leaves and treats...

I'm tired and my stomach hurts. On the upside, it's fall and I love this time of year! The leaves crunching and changing colours make me hopeful.  Tonight I went to a meeting. It was kind of boring, but going made me feel productive. I'm on the Tobias House Board of Directors. Tobias House is the organization that provides my help with physical tasks I cannot do independently. Shockingly, I ate a veal sandwich. I haven't had veal in ages. It was yummy. We had a rainy bout here, but today was clear. 

I keep thinking about butternut squash soup and pumpkin cheesecake.  Food, food, food, get OUT of my head! My doctor says I wouldn't be so obsessed with fall treats if I were properly nourished.....I know that.

I am excited to be turning 30 in six days. I feel lucky - not old.


Saturday, October 20, 2012

A year from now....

Tonight it's raining. I can hear the raindrops hitting the windowpane. The cars are swooshing by on the slick, wet roads.

I spent the day chilling. The morning started with a chocolate banana Vitatop and a coffee. I went to Timothys and had a Belgian Chocolate coffee. I bought peanut butter and cookies and cream cupcakes for my Dad. Lunch was a pumpernickel bagel. Dad came and painted my bathroom tiles. We went to Loblaws and shared potato bread for dinner. He told me I loved healthy. My brain says "fat" but whatever. It's been a day filled with bread and sweets, but no gum, which is refreshing.

I called off an engagement party. I know The Observer's Mom is hurt. She only wants the best for her son and myself. In my heart though, I didn't feel it was necessary. I don't want anything to minimize our wedding day.

Exactly a year from today, the Observer and I will be married. If it's rainy just like it is now, I'll still be the happiest girl in the world.


Wednesday, October 03, 2012

The Great Escape & This One Is For You...

When I'm feeling like checking out of this thing we call life and feel so tired of pushing forward, I remember:

This one is for me.