Sunday, February 03, 2013

For the record....

Something broke inside me when I heard this song. Some moments I am so sad. The magnitude of my loss feels like it's going to crush my heart. I can't breath. How is it possible to lose my best friend in the world? 

Sometimes I feel like calling and saying, "You won't believe what happened to me."

There would be a response like, "That's awful my love. I love you no matter what." I would be hugged and everything would be better. That's how it always went.

Now the one person who made everything better hurt me in the worst way. It can never be made better. It's like I was an egg. Insults cracked me right through the middle.  The damage is irreversible. Our history is tainted.

Was I ever really loved? I loved with all of my heart. Maybe that's most important. I have to believe that something bigger is ahead. We only get one life. I cannot be angry and sad forever.

No man loves me like my Dad and, for now, he is enough.



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