Saturday, January 11, 2014

Celebrating Skylar....

I can hear rain hitting my windowpane. It's gloomy and wet out. I suppose it's England weather (minus the snow!) I've not been out yet today. I'm taking the train home in an hour. Tomorrow we're celebrating Skylar's third birthday.  Her actual birthday was in November but her family was sick. She's too little to know the difference. This morning Skylar threw her cereal on the floor and was banned from watching Treehouse. I think she gets her toughness from me.   My sister had an ultrasound yesterday. The baby is healthy. I am relieved. Shane is home. I'm excited to see him and Cole. I've missed them.

I've gained ten pounds in three months. I'm trying to swallow it. My body is lumpier and I have fuller cheeks. This place is not foreign to me, but it's still scary. Part of me misses anorexia. Another part loves food, spontaneity and intimacy. After a lunch date yesterday, I tweeted, Confession: There's something sweet about holding someone's face when you kiss. If I were actively restricting, all that would matter would be the calories in the pizza I ate. Now I can focus on moments that matter. Isn't that why we're all here? Well, maybe to listen to the rain too...

- OCG  

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