Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Keep Breathing....

Today is freezing outside. Coming from the library and Loblaws caused my fingers to tingle. I saw a squashed bird on the street and it made me sad. The bird also made me consider becoming a vegetarian. Poor bird...

When my parents set up my new TV in my bedroom, I bought an antenna to watch local channels. I love watching Jimmy Fallon, especially on Fridays when he writes apology letters. He's hilarious! Matthew set up my antenna. We came across the Muppets Christmas movie. Emily Blunt is in it. I said to Mathew, "She's sweet, but her former boyfriend Micheal Buble was a real loser. I wonder if that's what people say about you and me?" He laughed.

On Saturday I ate a HUGE burger and fries. As a vegetable and carbohydrate lover, a burger was a big deal. I enjoyed it. Sometimes a girl needs a burger and fries. We also watched some of Dallas Buyer's Club. It's quite a raw, gut wrenching movie. I'm  glad we didn't see it in theaters. That would have been awkward.

Shane is withdrawing from hydromorphone. He's struggling. I went home on Sunday but didn't see him. My Mom cried and it broke my heart. She just wants him fixed. We all want him fixed, but he has to share in this desire. I am very worried about my family. There is a huge lump in my throat every time I think of them. We are so tired, but we still love him. Hopefully Shane knows this. Speaking of struggles, I am still  dealing with my lumpier, fuller body. The song Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michealson resonates.  She must know someone who is an alcoholic, watched her mother cry, seen a dead bird on the street, eaten a hamburger and fries, and had cold hands. In spite of everything, Ingrid Michealson still keeps breathing. Perhaps I should go outside again. Don't hold your breath.


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