Quietly

The longest "See You Later"

The Painted Drum

 

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

Immortal

Do not stand

          By my grave, and weep.
     I am not there,
          I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning’s hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
     Do not stand
          By my grave, and cry—
     I am not there,
          I did not die.

— Clare Harner, The Gypsy, December 1934

Hey Carlie!

It's Christie!

How are you doing up in the sky? It's been three years since you were taken from us. In many ways, it feels like yesterday, and in others, it feels like a lifetime ago. Cliche, right?

I miss hearing your voice and laugh - parts of you that I always thought were distinctive and made you special.

We're all doing the best we can without you. Losing you was like a tidal wave. No one saw it coming and washed away the family we were with you. Maybe other families have a different experience but our family lost you and were one of a kind.

When I see an orange summer sky, a monarch butterfly, or a full moon, tears come because you can't see these things and you should. You'd appreciate and admire them. You should be here to hug your children and Mike and continuing changing the world with your kindness and intelligence.

Mom and Dad are getting older and I know losing you was the worst heartbreak. Losing your child is not something any parent should endure. It's true what they say. I know the kids keep them going but underneath the busyness, there's an ache for you. I'm proud of their strength but I know that they had no choice.

I'm unsure if you have a window to look into from heaven, but the kids are growing up and doing well. They still have their unique personalities and quirks and haven't really changed. They are more sure of who they are but move around the world with caution - like they know life can change in a minute because theirs did. They crack us up and break our hearts all at once, but they probably did that for you too, didn't they?

Anyway, I hope you know how much we love you.

I'm sorry that I haven't been to the cemetery in years but I'll get their soon.

Miss you, Carlie.

Christie xo

To Honour You

To Honor You

Connie F. Kiefer Byd 

To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath. And start another day without you in it. 

 To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile And the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge. 

To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love, I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence. 

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked, And sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down. 

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, Risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance. 

You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source. 

So everyday, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh and love. 

Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you. Connie F Kiefer Byd

Running

 

Welcome Olivia!

This is Olivia Carlie Lynn Ladner, born on August 20 to Jeff and Katherine, weighing 7 pounds 10 ounces.

What a girl.

tough times

I'm grateful for..

* Celebrating five years of marriage yesterday

* Matt buying me a Hawaiian doughnut 🍩

* St. Urbain bagels

* Pam and Robert at House Of Robert

* Emails from Skylar

* April, always